Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Stay Home vs Work Mama

For the longest time I always thought I would stay home with my kids if I had the luxury. When we got pregnant with Jack, I found myself suddenly wondering if that was what I truly wanted. I finally had a job that I loved and wasn't sure if I should give up my position. Plus, let's face it, the first few months with a newborn aren't really convincing to make you want to stay home.
After lots of thought, I decided that I would in fact give staying home with Jack a chance.
At first, I wasn't sure if I liked it. I felt isolated and like I was missing out on some adult interaction. I maybe even felt a little self pity. There I admit it. I am going to chalk those feelings up to my whacked out post pregnancy hormones. But it did seem like all the feelings I had in the beginning made me feel selfish, which in turn made me feel even worse that here I was blessed with a beautiful and healthy baby boy and all I could think about was what I was missing out on.

Fast forward a few months...
A job opportunity was presented to me and I was forced to again rehash the idea of staying home vs. working. After considering what I like and don't like about staying home with Jack, I realized that it was best for our family if I stayed home. However, I then became determined to fix what areas I felt like needed a little work to get more satisfaction from staying home.

Here are some of the important things I have found along the way that I feel are necessary for me to be a great stay at home mom:
  • Adult time (without your child)
  • Play Dates (a combo of adult time for me and playdate/exposure to other kids for Jack.)
  • Personal Time. Hopefully this includes an hour of time to do whatever you want but honestly sometimes it might include even just alone time to use the shower/bathroom)
  • A helpful spouse who appreciates what you do and steps in to provide relief when you are completely strung out. Love you Mitch, even though I may be a beast at times ;)
  • An escape. For me that involves disappearing with Jack to my parents farm.
  • My Scentsy business. I meet new people, sell a yummy smelling product, and make money which gives me that sense of accomplishment that my 40 hr/week job gave me.
  • Hobbies. I have started sewing although i haven't spent too much time lately on it. More to come on that in a later post...
  • Trips to the Mall, Target, etc. Although this one gets a little tricky for trying not to spend money, it does provide a change of scenery for both of us.
  • Exercise. This one has been a hard thing for me to stick with but does give me a break while Jack goes to the daycare and he gets to play with other kids.
  • Sunshine. Everybody feels better with sunshine, right? :) That nice weather last week gave me an even better outlook on life and allowed us to get out and take walks.
Even after implementing all these new things into my new life, I still was wondering if I would love being back in the classroom. So I decided to sub back in the classroom for a few days while Jack attended daycare in the same center. Although we were only there a few days and it would have taken more days to fully adjust, we both decided that daycare life was not for either one of us. We like our flexible, stay home schedule.

I no longer wonder if I should be back in the classroom because I like being a stay at home mom. Even on days like today where Jack is sick and crabby and I haven't had much sleep.

When deciding whether to go back to work or stay home, you need to make the best decision for your family and then alter it to meet your needs. For now, staying home is where Jack and I are happiest :)

To end this I must say thank you to my husband who works crazy amounts of hours at his job and with his photography so that I can stay home with Jack. Your work does not go unappreciated with us :)

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